WEEKEND EDITION 07/08 August 2021 “Family Jealousy”

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Good weekend to you my “Walking with Jesus” friends,

Of all the human emotions we experience, where do you rank ‘jealousy’ in terms of potential damage to relationships, families, and even your personal soul?

Yesterday we left our friend Jacob living the early years of his very complicated adult life, married to two sisters! We saw how the deceitfulness and dysfunction of his childhood family was now casting a shadow over, and breeding discord in, his adult families. Yes, I said ‘families’ because Jacob had two wives, Leah and Rachel. Leah had been given to him deceitfully by her father Laban, after seven long years of work as the dowry price Jacob had agreed to pay. But Jacob was paying that price for the woman he loved, Rachel, and yet on the wedding day Laban dressed his daughter Leah in wedding clothes and veil, so Jacob did not discover the deception until the morning after their wedding night together! Can you imagine??

Laban’s explanation to Jacob was that culturally, in that region of the world, it was the custom to marry off the daughters chronologically eldest to youngest, and if Jacob wanted Rachel it would require another seven years of work! Jacob was experiencing the bitter taste of his own medicine of deception which he had spewed out in his childhood family too many times, deeply hurting his father, mother and brother. Jacob was in love, and was willing to pay any price for Rachel, so he agreed, and was the husband of two sisters, can you imagine the jealousy in that family?

Soon Leah began having babies… four in sons in fact, and we presume they are what we sometimes call ‘stair-step children’, probably each one being born little more than one year after the other. We can only imagine what life was like for Jacob. Working hard during the day out in the sun as a shepherd of sheep and goats, then coming home to two wives and four kids, four and under…oh and did I say they were boys, each of them all boy!! Probably the only place Jacob had some peace and quiet was out with the sheep!

Genesis 30 is a remarkable and very significant chapter in the Bible. Sadly, it begins with an argument between Rachel and Jacob! The record says: “When Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children, she became jealous of her sister Leah. So she said to Jacob, ‘Give me children or I will die.’ Jacob became angry with her and said, ‘Am I in the place of God, who has kept you from having children?’ So Rachel then said, ‘Here is my maidservant Bilhah. Sleep with her so that she can bear children for me and through her I too can build a family.’ So she gave him her servant Bilhah as a wife. Jacob slept with her and she became pregnant and bore him a son. Then Rachel said, ‘God has vindicated me; he has listened to my plea and given me a son.’ Because of this she named him Dan.” (Genesis 30:1-6)

It doesn’t take much imagination to walk around Jacob’s family compound, watching and listening to the mayhem, does it? Probably there are several tents now, for Leah has four sons, and Rachel has a son but through her maidservant Bilhah, who of course would have nursed the baby for his first few years. It’s getting crowded around here isn’t it, and worse than all the noise of so many kids is the arguing and jealousy of the adults! My oh my!! Can you hear it, can you see the little ones all around? Can you imagine the late night conversations between Jacob and his wives, as he probably alternates sleeping every other night with each of them in their tent with their children. There’s a constant question Jacob is hearing… ‘Jacob, my husband, do you love me? Do you love me more than her? Do you love the sons I have borne to you? Do you love them more than hers?

But friends, this ‘mess’ is far from over, in fact the mayhem has only begun for Jacob! The record continues: “Rachel’s servant Bilhah conceived a second time and bore Jacob another son. Then Rachel said, “I have had a great struggle with my sister, and I have won.’ So she named him Naphtali.” (Gen. 30:7,8) If you’re keeping score, that’s now 4 sons for Leah and 2 sons for Rachel through Bilhah. Now do you remember what happened to Jacob’s grandfather Abraham when he had a similar problem? His beloved Sarah was also barren, and after many, many years, Sarah offered her maidservant Hagar to Abraham to start building a family through her. (Genesis 16) Oh my the problems that came from that!

I have to believe Jacob has told that story more than once to both his wives, Leah and Rachel, and as he walks among his sheep out in the pasture, can’t you hear Jacob talking with God… “Well God, I’m caught in the middle of what appears to be spouse competition and deep jealousy. And it’s made more complicated by the fact that Rachel is using her maidservant Bilhah as her surrogate mother. So now I actually have three wives and six sons. LORD I knew my childhood family was a crazy mess of jealousy and competition but it seems to me that was nothing compared to what I am experiencing here. What should I do about this? How can I bring peace into my families, and how am I going to provide for all these children? God, I need your help!’

So my friends, what advice would you have for Mr. Jacob? How would you counsel the sister/wives and Bilhah as they compete for Jacob’s love and nurse and raise six little boys? I imagine some of the jealousy attitudes of the women are starting to be understood and owned by their sons? So how does that play out as these step brothers are running around and playing and fighting as little boys do?

The record continues… “When Leah saw that she had stopped having children, she gave her maidservant Zilpah to Jacob as his wife. Leah’s servant conceived and bore Jacob a son. Then Leah said, ‘what good fortune!’ So she named him Gad.
Leahs’ servant Zilpah then bore Jacob a second son. Then Leah said “how happy I am’ and named him Asher.” (Gen. 30:9) I wonder my friends, if you think this is getting a bit out of control? As you walk around Jacob’s tent compound we now have at least four family tents as well as food storage tents, cooking tents etc.

We know each mother nurses her own babies until they are weaned so that is probably age 3 or 4 at least. I admit, I don’t know how Jacob is sharing his time with all these tents, especially his night times. I don’t know if they sometimes have common meals where they all eat together, but can you imagine the parenting challenges facing these women, and especially the Husband and Dad challenges facing Jacob!? I have to believe there’s lots of score keeping going on here as the competitiveness and jealousy runs rampant in Jacob’s growing family. In case you’ve lost track… the score now is Leah has four sons, Rachel has two sons by Bilhah, and Leah also has two sons by Zilpah, so that’s 8 sons in all!

The record continues! Yes, it really does. Leah, Jacob’s first wife, gets pregnant and bears Jacob her fifth son, naming him Issachar. Then about a year later Leah conceives again and bears Jacob her sixth son naming him Zebulun! And finally some time later Leah bore a daughter that she named Dinah. Now if you are a woman who grew up in a family of boys, perhaps you have a little idea of what life would be like for Dinah. But friends, do you have even enough energy for yet one more baby?

The record says: “Then God remembered Rachel; He listened to her and opened her womb. She became pregnant and gave birth to a son and said “God has taken away my disgrace’ and she named him Joseph.“ (Gen. 30:22) So let’s just stand in the middle of Jacob’s tents for a few closing minutes today, and watch this remarkable family scene! Little children running around and babies being nursed by their mothers under the shade of their tents. Baby Joseph is over there in Rachel’s arms suckling. Baby Dinah is in Leah’s arms over there by that tent, suckling. Little Zebulun and Issachar are playing as infant boys do, probably 3 and 4 yrs old, respectively. Asher and Gad are perhaps 5 & 6 years old, over there, playing together.

Now shepherds, as you know, took their sons out among the sheep early in life, teaching them and soon entrusting them with small flocks of their own. It was a very powerful father-son bonding and teaching time. So let’s go out among the flocks and watch. There, over there, do you see Jacob with his sons Naphtali and Dan. They are brothers, both sons of Rachel’s maidservant Bilhah, and probably about 7 & 8 years old. If we ask Jacob about his other sons, he’ll shade his eyes from the sun and point out to groups of sheep and goats and say ‘over there, that looks like my son Judah, let me think now, he’s about 9 yrs old now. And over there, that one with the lamb over his shoulder, that’s Levi. I think he’s 10 years old now with a tender heart. He always has a lamb over his shoulder. Let’s see, that one way over there, with his staff raised up, that’s Simeon. He likes to talk to his sheep and I think he’s 11 now. And let’s see, there should be one more… oh yes, over there, that’s Reuben, my first born. He’s the best young shepherd of all my boys. He’s 12 now and his brothers all look up to him. Yes, I’m a blessed man… 6 sons out here with me learning to be shepherds, and 5 more at home with the women, and one little daughter! I’m both a blessed and weary man!’

Now ponder the scene my friends. In the dream back at Bethel, nearly 20 years ago, God had promised Jacob that despite the fact he was a liar, cheat and thief, God wanted to include him in the great Covenant promise and plan God had given to Abraham so many years ago. God had said “I will give you the land on which you are lying. Your descendants will be like the dust of the earth, and you will spread out to the west and east, north and south. All peoples on earth will be blessed through you and your offspring.” (Gen. 28:14) I’m confident Jacob thought often about that dream, and as we stand out here among the sheep with him today, we can see the beginning of God’s promises, right before our eyes. 6 sons out here, 5 more back with their mothers. 11 sons in all at this time. And from them, only God knows how many there could eventually be and how far and wide they could spread across the earth!

As we stand here with Jacob and his sheep and his sons, think about your heritage my friends, wherever you live in our world. How would you describe your family as far back as you know them, and as many descendants you have. What words, what phrases describe the journey, the values, the reputations of your family? How do you see the hand of God involved in the story of your family? Oh there is much ahead for us with Jacob’s family… but I urge us to take some time now thinking about and praying for every member of your extended family, wherever they are in the world. What might God be doing in their lives today?

Today’s Scripture is Genesis 30.

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Bible images provided with attribution to www.LumoProject.com.

Have a comment or question about today’s chapter? I’m ready to hear from you, contact me here.

Pastor Doug Anderson 262.441.8785
“Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, with our eyes fixed on Jesus…” (Heb. 12:1,2)

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