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Good morning my “Walking with Jesus” friends,
If you’ve been with us for the last few days, we’re right in the middle of a ‘quagmire’, aren’t we? It’s an important and very relevant ‘quagmire’ because marriage problems are common in every society, every generation in the world. Come with me again back in time to the apostle Paul writing to the Christians in the big and decadent city of Corinth in the first century, and also back further in time to 458bc in Jerusalem and Ezra.
You’ll recall Ezra had been sent by King Artaxerxes with letters of authority to bring moral justice and leadership to Jerusalem. The problems were several, but the big one Ezra first met head on was the widespread marriage failure of many Jewish men who had married women from the neighboring nations, most of them idol worshippers. It was a direct rejection of God’s very clear laws about marriage for the Israelite people. (Deut. 7:3-6)
While yesterday we looked at how Ezra dealt with that problem in 458bc as recorded in Ezra 10, we also began looking at what the apostle Paul wrote, 500 years later, to the Christians in Corinth who were similarly making a mockery of marriage by marrying idol worshipers. (2 Corinthians 6:14-16) Remember Paul’s famous admonition to Christians, both men and women: “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial (Satan) …” (2 Cor. 6:14-16) Now, it’s very important we remember I showed you yesterday that Ezra’s solution to the unequally yoked problem was NOT a Biblical principle to be applied going forward in every generation. It was a ONE-TIME event, a singular direction of God to His people to deal with their disregard of God’s marriage laws. It was recorded in Ezra’s book to help future generations remember the painful consequences for everyone involved.
The apostle Paul was led by the Spirit of God to write more specific guidance for such ‘unequally yoked’ marriages in our day: “If a brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is NOT a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must NOT divorce him…If the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?” (1 Corinthians 7:10-16)
We must be careful to understand that this admonition is for the Christian person who is in a marriage with a non-Christian. Paul’s suggestion that a wife may possibly ‘save’ her unbelieving husband is suggesting that by her God honoring behavior and attitudes, the Christian wife living with her non-Christian husband may be what God uses to draw the unbelieving husband to desire a relationship with Jesus as his Savior too. The same would be true, of course, with an unbelieving wife and a Jesus following husband. Do we understand the significance of this my friends?
The apostle Peter wrote something very similar in 1 Peter 3:1-4 “Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that if they do not believe God’s Word, they may be won over…by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, your beauty should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a quiet and gentle spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”
Now let’s pause and seek to understand what God is saying to us here my friends. Unilaterally, in all cultures, all generations, God is cautioning people to be very careful they do NOT enter into marriage which will unite a follower of Jesus Christ with someone who does NOT believe in Jesus. That is ‘unequally yoked’ and that has been an all too frequent problem in every generation, everywhere in the world. The reason it’s a problem is simple and profound: Disagreement on the spiritual values in life will result eventually in disagreement in EVERY other major area of life!! Conversely, AGREEMENT spiritually in marriage will bring you into unity in all other areas of life!
God unifies, Satan divides.
Both Paul and Peter were led by the Holy Spirit to instruct those ALREADY in an ‘unequally yoked’ marriage to remain in those marriages if possible, and prayerfully, humbly seek God’s work to bring the unbeliever to faith in Jesus and bring unity to any areas of differences in the ‘unequally yoked’ marriage.
If you are in an ‘unequally yoked’ marriage, perhaps you’re seeking some practical help in bringing peace into your marriage. May I offer you three suggestions:
1. Recognize the powerful truth of 2 Cor. 6:14-16, that your differences in an ‘unequally yoked’ marriage are radical, fundamental and systemic.
Only the transforming power of God can help an unbeliever think and act under the influence of the Holy Spirit of God. The unbeliever naturally cannot understand spiritual truth and cannot live their life led by the Holy Spirit who does not reside within them. (2 Cor. 4:4)
2. Humility and service is the key to peace in an ‘unequally yoked’ marriage.
But the Christian in an unequally yoked marriage should not succumb to pressure to engage in ungodly, decadent behavior to pacify the demands of an unbelieving spouse. If you are the believing spouse, you set the high moral, ethical standard for your home, especially if you have children living at home.
3. If the unbelieving spouse chooses to leave the believing spouse, the apostle Paul writes: “If the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The believing brother or sister is not bound in such circumstances.” (1 Corinthians 7:15)
This situation would be abandonment, and the believing spouse left behind, need not succumb to blackmail or other pressure toward perversion if abandonment is threatened.
Oh, my friends, I realize this is a very common and complex problem in millions of marriages in our day, and a great deal of pain is being suffered each and every day in ‘unequally yoked’ marriages. God is fully aware of all the complex contributing factors in troubled marriages and His initial warning remains perhaps even more viable today than in Ezra’s day… DO NOT enter into an unequally yoked relationship!
Yes, many choose divorce as an option and some believe that is what was done in Ezra’s situation. Tomorrow we’ll look at some other Scriptures which speak to us about that topic. For today let’s thank God that He has designed marriage to be a wonderful, glorious covenant of love when entered into wisely and with two people fully aligned with God spiritually. Here’s another wonderful song celebrating what God offers us.
Today’s Scripture: 1 Corinthians 7:12-16.
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Bible images provided with attribution to www.LumoProject.com.
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Pastor Doug Anderson
“Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, with our eyes fixed on Jesus…” (Heb. 12:1,2)
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