Good morning to you my “Walking with Jesus” friends,
You probably know what it’s like to receive distressing or at least discouraging news about friends. These days we are with the apostle Paul and he’s writing his first letter to the people he helped come to know Jesus Christ in the great city of Corinth. Word has come to Paul that in the time since he was last in Corinth some distorted teaching about God has contributed to these new Christians wandering from the truth and in some cases returning back to the despicable lives they lived before they trusted Paul’s Gospel about Jesus.
Specifically in Chapter 7, Paul is dealing with a topic that has been widespread since long before Jesus walked this earth. Sexual immorality has been a problem which has plagued every city, in every generation, everywhere in the world, isn’t that right? Paul had some strong words for Christians in Corinth, both men and women. “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife and the wife to her husband.” (1 Cor. 7:3)
We began looking at this remarkable chapter earlier this week, and today let’s look closely at this amazing verse and those which follow. What is the ‘marital duty’ a husband has to his wife, and what ‘marital duty’ does a wife have to her husband, in a God honoring marriage? Of course, husbands are called by God to protect their wives from anything or anyone who would harm them, and also to provide for their needs and lead them in living a God honoring life, right?
The first need most women feel is a need for safety… every type of safety. Another of those needs most women feel is a desire to be a mother, to experience conception, pregnancy, bear children and then raise them for God’s glory! The deep love between a mother and her children is God designed and almost impossible to break.
Marriage is the sacred, God designed safe place for child conception, pregnancy, birth, nursing and nurturing of children, and of course a God honoring husband has an ongoing important role in every phase of this.
Sadly, one of the great tragedies of our modern world, especially America, is absentee fathers! Fathers who enjoy the conception part of having children but then abandon their responsibilities with their wife and children.
The ‘marital duty’ of a husband is a lifelong duty. As you look at your city, what do you see? Are the men fulfilling ALL their marital duties to their wives? In his letter to the Christians in Ephesus, Paul wrote: “Husbands love your wives as Jesus Christ loved the Church, [God’s people redeemed by the blood of Jesus] and gave Himself up for her… wives submit to your husbands as you do to the Lord….each husband must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wives must respect their husbands.” (Eph. 5:22,25,33)
Now look at two statements Paul wrote about this matter of using our bodies to honor and serve our spouses. In Eph. 5:21 Paul writes: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Jesus Christ.” And in 1 Cor. 7:4 Paul writes: “The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.”
Now that is remarkable isn’t it and can you see how Paul’s statements complement each other? I’m sure you understand men and women have very different sexual appetites at almost every adult age. Part of the male gender hormone is a strong urge for the mating process, it can be seen in almost every animal species.
Human males are no different, and God calls us to tame that urge so it is honorable and enjoyable for our wives, never demeaning or demanding or forced. Of course, my friends, you and I both know this aspect of male-female relationships is very often far out of balance and causes great emotional and physical pain to women.
Most men are unable to tame their urges and with pornography, prostitution, sex trafficking and an abundance of sexual temptations, men are in many ways encouraged by our world to fully express their male urges even to the detriment of women and breaking of their marriage vows. Can you see how God calls us to invite the Holy Spirit, who lives in all authentic Christians, to manage their sexual appetite so it will never lead them into lustful words or actions which demean another person or mock the holy wonder of marital physical intimacy by God’s design?
Are you amazed at Paul’s clear, practical teaching on this matter of sexual integrity? Let’s look at one more powerful statement today…“Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” (1 Cor. 7:5) Now, what could that possibly mean in a God honoring marriage? If you are or have been married, I presume you understand.
Depriving your spouse of the enjoyment of any aspect of love expression is weaponizing love. It’s a travesty, the exact opposite of serving one another out of reverence for Jesus Christ. (Eph. 5:21) Paul makes it very clear that there are times a ‘fast’ from love expression while focusing on prayer to God, seeking guidance from God, can be very powerful. But it must be a shared commitment and for a limited time so as to not place either the husband or wife in a vulnerable place to lustful temptation from the dark kingdom.
While we understand Paul is speaking about that glorious, God designed, husband and wife love sexual intimacy, let’s not limit or restrict what God is saying to us here. The marriage commitment is God designed to provide the safest relationship for two people, who deeply love each other, to express their love in a wide range of words and physical touch, each of which has unique and significant meaning within THEIR trusting marriage covenant.
And have you noticed how those expressions change over time. My daughter is 44 and married with 5 children. My father is 96 and twice widowed. You can probably guess the age of my wife and me, and the difference in how all four generations express their love with words and touch is very fascinating to me!
But watch this my friends: WITHHOLDING love words or touch from someone who expects love from you, even withholding for a very brief time, can be catastrophic, deeply wounding and fertile ground for the devil to breed mistrust, anger, bitterness and resentment. So, Paul challenges husbands and wives to be very careful about this and be sure there is clear, open communication bathed in prayer, so the integrity of their marriage covenant is protected during this delicate time of ‘withholding’. Do we understand this my friends?
These past three days have been very significant reflections on a powerful portion of Paul’s letter we know as 1st Corinthians. If you are married, may I urge you to sit with your spouse and discuss these verses, praying together that God will guide you in building a wonderful, God honoring marriage and that the verbal and physical intimacy part of your marriage will be pure and holy while fully expressing your love for each other!
May I also urge all of us who are parents and grandparents to guide our kids, and when old enough our grandkids, through a Spirit led understanding of these verses of Paul’s. Why? Because you and I both know how widespread the damage is, in families all over the world, when love is not carefully expressed in words or touch.
Yes, I have a special song for us today, but first, I’d like to pray for you right now, my friends…
Today’s Scripture is 1 Cor. 7:5.
Choose below to read or listen.
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Bible images provided with attribution to www.LumoProject.com.
Have a comment or question about today’s chapter? I’m ready to hear from you, contact me here.
Pastor Doug Anderson
“Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, with our eyes fixed on Jesus…” (Heb. 12:1,2)
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