Hello, my ‘Walking with Jesus” friends,
When you think about the attractive attributes of people you enjoy being with, I wonder if these might be among them: Kindness; Humility; Contentment; Patience; Sensitivity; Compassion; Generosity? This week we are looking closely at one of the most powerful statements about LOVE ever made. God led the apostle Paul to write this: “Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, it does not boast…” Yesterday we looked closely at that phrase and tried to understand how those attributes are developed in our lives. Today let’s look at the next phrase Paul wrote: “Love is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, love keeps no record of wrongs…”
I’m sure you would agree these are five very powerful statements about God honoring love, and they are indeed rare to find, aren’t they? “Love is not proud.” I’m sure we all agree. Pride is offensive. Pride sucks the life out of any relationship. Pride is so focused on self, there is little room for nurturing relationship with someone else because pride is demanding rather than serving. Pride and Love simply cannot coexist because LOVE is others focused, LOVE is all about serving and helping others even to the detriment of self. A proud person loves themself so much they have nothing left to give others.
It’s not difficult to see the close relationship between “Love is not proud and love is not self-seeking.” Pride demands both attention on self and full service of self. While love focuses on others, looks for ways to serve others, seeks to encourage and build others up, Pride does exactly the opposite.
If you’ve ever been in a relationship with a prideful, self-consumed person you know how difficult it is to keep your self-esteem and some balance in life for the other person is constantly demanding attention and self-service. That is exactly the opposite of Jesus, isn’t it? Do you remember Jesus said once: “Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.” (Mark 10:43-45) If ever someone deserved to be served by all it was Jesus, God the Son incarnate among us! But do you remember what Jesus did on the night He gathered with His disciples for their Passover meal only a few hours before He went to the cross? Jesus washed their feet, the role of a slave. (John 13:1-17)
Perhaps the most challenging phrase in this love statement of 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 is this: “Love is not rude, it is not easily angered, love keeps no record of wrongs.” We’ve all experienced it. You’re having a conversation with someone and suddenly someone else rudely interrupts and demands attention! What did you feel in that moment? Insignificant, disrespected, humiliated? Rude says ‘I am far more important than you and therefore I can interrupt your life at any time, demanding to be heard and served.’ Rude says, ‘Whatever you are doing is not nearly as important as paying attention to me, serving me.’ There is no love in RUDE! In fact, RUDE kills love.
Now here’s the big one: “Love is not easily angered, love keeps no record of wrongs.” This little phrase is like a scenic rest stop on a long journey. There’s a cumulative effect here, do you see it? Impatience, Envy, Boasting, Pride, Rude and Self-Seeking each and all are wounding and awaken a negative response in other people.
If these dysfunctional attitudes and behavior persist, they often arouse frustration and even anger in those offended by them. Think for a moment of every troubled marriage you know. Do you see evidence of what we’ve already been talking about? And when anger arises in that marriage can you see how it’s a cumulative effect that pushes the anger buttons?
But, of course, we understand apology, repentance and then forgiveness and some degree of reconciliation is God’s design for healthy, God honoring relationships. Sadly, we also understand forgiveness too often includes ‘record keeping’! Do you find yourself keeping score?
Do you keep a mental record of the wrongs done to you, the times you’ve been wounded, lied to, taken advantage of, hurt deeply? Do you keep detailed mental records? The specific words spoken, the body language, the tone of voice, even the day and place where it took place? And have you discovered, my friends, how damaging it can be when we keep a record of wrongs done to us?
In 1 Corinthians 13:4,5 God has been giving us a specific, detailed, insight into Love by His design… both what love is and what love isn’t. “Love is Patient, Love is Kind.” Amazing that in the first few sentences of this powerful statement in 1 Corinthians 13 we have only TWO statements of what love IS. And then comes this long litany of what Love is NOT: “Love does not ENVY; Love does not BOAST; Love is not PROUD. Love is not RUDE, Love is not SELF-SEEKING. Love is not easily ANGERED, Love KEEPS NO RECORD of wrongs.”
Of course, it is not difficult for us to identify the antithesis of each of these negative love busters, is it? May I urge you to dig through your vocabulary to find the words which are the opposite of these negative, love destroying actions or attitudes? Let me get you started…
Love does not ENVY... rather, Love is Content with God’s faithful provision, confident He knows my needs.
Love does not BOAST... for I realize anything good in me is a work of God, for my sinful nature is wicked.
Love is not PROUD... oh no, anything I ever accomplish in life is the work of God leading me, enabling me, empowering me and my accomplishments are all for God’s glory! Therefore, HUMILITY is my friend!
Love is not RUDE... wisdom is gained in listening, watching, learning. I devour the book of Proverbs to keep teaching me to listen far more than I speak, consider others more important than myself, and live always showing great respect and esteem to everyone else.
Love is not SELF-SEEKING… Oh I trust my Lord Jesus to watch over me, provide what He knows I need to serve the purpose for which God has kept me alive, as I am led by the Holy Spirit, always living for His glory.
Love is not easily ANGERED... I seek to honor my Lord Jesus following His example that while He was maligned, mocked, ridiculed, abandoned by His friends, betrayed by those He served, denied by one who claimed to be His close friend, Jesus remained God honoring in His attitudes, His words, His actions. My example is Jesus!
Love keeps no record of wrongs... because when God forgives me is it total, complete and my transgressions are separated from me as far as east is from west! (Ps. 103:12) So when I forgive, I also seek reconciliation and I give over to God whatever wrong was done to me, trusting that Jesus will strengthen me to forgive, as He forgave.
Now that’s a lot, I know my friends, and I want to encourage you to try what I just did. Jot down in your journal each of the brief statements from 1 Corinthians 13 about what love IS and what love ISN’T, and then write your own phrase which describes how YOU are seeking to live your life with God honoring LOVE. I think you’ll find that helpful but also penetrating as you ask the Holy Spirit to show you where your love needs some help, from the Holy Spirit, to be God honoring LOVE not self-serving love.
Today’s Scripture is 1 Corinthians 13:4-6.
Choose below to read or listen.
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Bible images provided with attribution to www.LumoProject.com.
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Pastor Doug Anderson
“Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, with our eyes fixed on Jesus…” (Heb. 12:1,2)
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