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Good morning dear “Walking with Jesus” friends,
This weekend we have the great privilege of learning some of the most powerful RELATIONAL life truths from Jesus as we walk with Him through Ephesians 4:17-24.
These powerful truths apply to all of us, and have special application to relationships…all relationships, but especially ones that should be very strong, like marriages or families, or church friends.
We’re going to see a downward spiral, an ‘implosion’ of relationships, step by step, into a deep pit of self destruction, and then a wonderful path up and out that despair. Now as we take the journey please keep this in mind…because we are human beings our relationships are constantly changing, everyday, every hour! These verses give us keys for evaluating… are our relationships on the downward spiral toward disaster, or the upward trend, toward greater health and mutual encouragement?
Paul shows us in vs. 17 the first major step in the deterioration of relationships, both with each other and also our relationship with God, do you see it? “…the futility of their thinking.” He refers here to “Gentiles” and I believe he is talking about anyone who doesn’t have an authentic relationship with Jesus. Without the Holy Spirit our thinking is NATURALLY selfish, sin-nature, futile. In any relationship, when my thinking turns selfish rather than seeking to honor God in that relationship, it’s going to deteriorate. Selfishness, futile, wrong thinking always undermines a relationship!
Verse 18 tells us that ‘wrong thinking’ leads to a hard heart. . . every time! “They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts.” A hard heart is defensive, prideful, self-promoting. A hard heart resists correction or rebuke. A hard heart and a wrong thinking mind combine together to form a ‘hard to get along with’ person, a critical person, an argumentative person. Everyone tends to pull away from such a person. They are hurtful, bitter, resentful, often angry people. Can you see why? Minds thinking wrongly and hard hearts refusing help, especially God’s help.
Now look where it leads a person next: “Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more.” (Eph. 4:19) Now the language Paul uses can easily be seen as depicting a person of sexual perversion, but that’s not really the focus here. Notice carefully… the wrong thinking mind and hard heart cause a person to loose ‘all sensitivity’. They no longer feel the prick of their God given conscience, nor, if they are a Christian, do they sense the Holy Spirit’s work of conviction and guidance in their lives!
They have given themselves over to selfish pursuit of anything that they believe will give them pleasure, including things they know are wrong and self-destructive or even behavior that they know will be destructive to their marriage or family or any relationship! There seems to be no moral boundaries, no limits to how bad they will behave, how much pain they will inflict. Their ‘continual lust for more’ is like a fire that can’t be put out! It consumes everyone and everything in its path.
Now…look closely at the downward spiral. Can you see it destroying marriages and family relationships, even in your friends, maybe your own family,and maybe even a church!? Wrong thinking leads to a hard heart, leads to destructive choices with an unlimited hunger for more! Do you see addictions here? Do you see unrepentant adultery or any other kind of deeply hurtful behavior here?
Now I have found when a person gets to this dark place, they are in deep pain and they hurt almost everyone they touch. Down deep inside they’d give anything for things to change…but they don’t know what to do. As they look at their mess, they usually then look around for someone to BLAME! “This can’t all be my fault. Who can I blame for my pain, my mistakes, my bad attitude, my poor choices, my anger, my bitterness…?” Also, they ask “what can I do to numb the pain…pills, bottle, porn, gambling, run-away…kill myself?”
Now my friends, I’m happy to tell you God has an answer for anyone in this deep place, or anywhere close to this deep place. It begins in the next verse! “You, however, did not come to know Christ that way. Surely you heard of Him and were taught in Him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus.” (4:20,21) There it is my friends! Rather than blame, God’s first step OUT of this despair is His invitation to us that we look up to Him and ask this question: “Jesus…what’s YOUR truth here? How did I end up in this mess? Am I thinking wrongly? Is my heart hard? Do I have a selfish ambition that is driving me to self-destructive choices? Show me YOUR truth, O God.” Does that sound like Psalm 139:23,24? “Search me O God, and know my heart…see if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”
And when we do that, the Holy Spirit of God WILL show us what is wrong in us, and then comes the next step. Do we argue with God, make excuses, reject it, disregard it…or accept it and deal with what God has shown us! Listen to what Paul writes next: “You were taught with regard to you former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires…” There it is…take action!
When God shows me what He sees is my problem, the next best thing I can to is agree with God! That’s confession. “Yes God, I see that is a problem in me, thank you for pointing it out, and I agree I have to get that out of my life!” And that’s repentance...when we reject that wrong thinking, or hard heart, or selfish pursuits OUT of my life! This is critical…since most people would rather reject the finger of God pointing out their problem, rather than deal with their problem!
Look at the next step: “…to be made new in the attitude of your minds…” That, my friends, is a work of God. Remember Romans 12:1,2 “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…” How do I do this?
First I invite Jesus to show me if I’m doing something that feeds my mind to wrong thinking (TV, movies, talk radio, books I read etc), then I ask Jesus to miraculously and powerfully cleanse my mind like how He healed blind eyes, or straightened lame limbs when He was here. Then I ask the Holy Spirit to transform my thinking, helping me to think only in God honoring ways, and finally I apply Philippians 4:8. Turn over two pages and read it…“…whatever is true, whatever is noble,…lovely…admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about these things.” It’s training your mind to think only about those things that are God honoring!
Finally Paul gives us one last step… “…and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” Wow, that verse 24 puts us in a whole new place, so dramatically different from where we were in verse 19, right? Just look again at that comparison for a moment.
This last step is a great work of the Holy Spirit of God. It’s called sanctification. It’s a process that will continue the rest of your Christian life as you ‘walk with Jesus”. It’s the Holy Spirit continually working on your mind, heart, attitudes, passions, even your personality, as you and I are refined, more and more, into becoming like Jesus! And each time the Holy Spirit shows us something more in our lives He wants to change, we don’t fight it, we don’t argue, we invite His work…even if it means releasing our grip on something that was feeding the wrong thinking or hard heart or selfish choices of vs. 17-19!
Now my friends, I end as I began today. Since we are living human beings, constantly barraged by information and interactions with people…we are continually moving, our attitudes changing, our thoughts and words and actions, constantly in flux. We need to train ourselves to look closely, honestly, at ourselves OFTEN, every day. Am I on the downward spiral of vs. 17-19 or the upward path of vs. 20-24?
And in very close relationships like marriage, family or even a loving church family, we need to give our closest friends permission and even invitation to help us see when we are in the downward spiral! Call us out! Help us see what we can’t see…so we can turn the corner and live in Eph. 4:20-24!! And we need to encourage those we see living the upward path, right!
OH Lord Jesus, search our hearts, show us where and how we need to change, so we can be on the upward path not the downward spiral!
Have a comment or question about today’s chapter? I’m ready to hear from you, contact me here.
Pastor Doug Anderson 262.441.8785
“Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, with our eyes fixed on Jesus…” (Heb. 12:1,2)
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