"If the LORD delights in a person's way, He makes their steps firm; though they stumble, they will not fall, for the LORD upholds them with His hand." (Psalm 37:23,24)

Friday, 25 October: Ephesians 6:1-3

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Good Friday morning my “Walking with Jesus” friends!
Of all the challenging aspects of living the human life, I wonder which you consider most difficult? How about PARENTING? 
 
Have you noticed, either in your own experience, or as you watch others, “Parenting” begins even before the birth of your children, and can extend long after you’ve died! How? Well…how often do you think about the advice you’ve received from parents or grandparents who are deceased? That’s parenting after death! 

Our parenting begins as soon as we hear the news “You’re pregnant”, right? Immediately, we begin watching the mothers’ diet and lifestyle, in an effort to responsibly nurture the development of her unborn baby, right? That’s why the concept of abortion is so repulsive! Rather than doing everything to nurture and protect the not yet born baby, we actually pass lows that allow the mutilation of the defenseless unborn! Even the most vicious animals don’t do that! 
 
My wife Dawn and I have only experienced pregnancy and birth once, with our daughter April, but for us it was a wonderful adventure. I was so fascinated by the miracle taking place in Dawn’s body. At about 7 months I found I could often hear the flutter of April’s little heartbeat if I pressed my ear to Dawn’s pregnant tummy. So, many an evening after I came home from work, she’d lay on the couch and I’d listen and we’d thank God for this miracle He was entrusting to us. Parenting was beginning and we had not yet even seen or touched April! In fact in those days we did not know the gender of our baby until she was born! Remember those days? Now some of you under 40 are skeptical that there was ever such a time in history, right?  
 
I’ve had the privilege of traveling to several countries, and parenting looks very similar everywhere. Children hold tightly to their parent’s legs or clamor to be picked up, when surrounded by adults they don’t know, or if they are in a frightening situation, right? Parents develop language and hand jesters and even sounds that instruct and guide their children, especially in the presence of others.  Parents everywhere struggle to find the right combination of love and discipline with each of their children, amazed at how different, offspring of the same two parents can be! 
 
Proud parents have that special smile and glimmer in their eyes when their children, of any age, are accomplishing something the parents value. Disappointed parents have that similar look of grief and regret when their children, of any age, disappoint them or reject their parenting. Broken hearted, shamed parents, have that same look of despair everywhere in the world. 
 
Mountains of book have been written about parenting… but today let’s look at what God says to us through Paul, who was never married, never a biological dad, but was a spiritual father to thousands. “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother‘ – which is the first commandment with a promise – ‘that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” (Eph. 6:1-3)
 
Do you remember this summer we read Exodus together? It’s probably safe to assume Paul had nearly memorized word for word, both Exodus and Deuteronomy, because these two books shape so much of Jewish history and culture. In God’s design, the family is the centerpiece of any society. For the Hebrews that’s especially three generations of the families of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.  
 
The wonderful story of Abraham and Sarah, to whom God had promised a son, when they had no children and were old… is the launching pad for the great Jewish nation. But that wonderful story is deeply marred by their impatience and Abraham’s child with Hagar as a substitute plan, as we see in Genesis 15-17. When miraculous Isaac was finally born to Sarah and Abraham, Ishmael was a teenager and God honoring parenting was nearly impossible in that blended family. Sadly, Hagar was forced out with her son Ishmael, and to this day animosity exists between the Arab descendants of Ishmael and the Jewish descendants of Isaac. The very core of this age old Palestinian debate is Abraham’s parenting challenges! 
 
 
Isaac faced a similar problem when his God provided wife Rebekah, was sterile, as his mother Sarah had been. After much prayer God opened Rebekah’s womb and she and Isaac had the miraculous delight, which turned to disaster, as twins, Jacob & Esau, were born to them! Remember their story in Genesis 24-28? Remember the parental challenges as Isaac favored Esau, while Rebekah favored Jacob, the deceiver who cheated and stole his brothers’s inheritance and blessing? Jacob was urged by his mother to flee for his life. Parenting dysfunction was prevalent in the second generation of the miracle Hebrew family! 
 
Things went from bad to worse with Jacob in Genesis 28-35 and the third generation in the Hebrew lineage. His deceitfulness was doubled back upon him as he was cheated by his father-in-law and given Leah, the older sister, after working 7 years for the woman he loved, Rachel! Another 7 years of work gained him Rachel, but then both women suffered from the same sterility as Jacob’s mother Rebekah and his grandmother Sarah! So, as was acceptable in the culture of that day, both Leah and Rachel gave their servant girls to Jacob to begin bearing children to build Jacob’s family. 
 
Before the end of chapter 30 of Genesis, Jacob has his hands full of family challenges. Four wives, 11 sons and one daughter! I can’t imagine what living in those tents was like! I’ve just recently returned from Jordan where a friend who has lived there more than 30 years, gave me several days of wonderful history and explanation of the Bedouin culture, as we drove though the desert and actually visited some of his friends in these tents. 
 
I assume Jacob, his favorite wife Rachel & their only child Joseph, lived in one tent, while each of the other mothers lived in an adjacent tent with her children and Jacob tried somehow to balance his time with each of his families. Now think about that parenting challenge, friends! And you remember, of course, that Joseph’s brothers sold him as a slave to a caravan of traders who were passing by, and then told Jacob that as far as they knew he’d been killed by a wild animal! 
 
But you remember the end of the story right? Joseph honors his father and care for his dysfunctional family by bringing them all to Egypt where he provides for them during the famine years and spares them from starvation! (Gen. 46-50)
 
Because the Hebrew people all traced their heritage back to these complex family beginnings, yet held them in the highest of esteem… when Paul wrote to the Ephesian Christians quoting Moses’ words, spoken in the desert to the Hebrew slaves who had come out of Egypt, you can imagine these verses of parenting advice were received with great respect and caution! They begin with the direct quote of Exodus 20:12 “Honor your father and mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.” These words were spoken audibly, out loud, by God Himself, as the Hebrew slaves stood at the base of Mount Sinai and heard God speak His “10 Commandments” to them.  As you know those 10 Commandments formed the core of their national identity as God’s people. Do you see the focus here… HONOR! 

That word is not nearly as significant in our western cultures as it is today in Asian, Mid-Eastern and Africa culture. Honor and Shame are the foundation of family culture in those parts of the world. So… may I ask… how have you honored your parents at various stages of your life? As a child, an adolescent, a young adult, a mid age adult raising your family, an older adult with ageing parents… what has “honor your parents” looked like for you? 
 
How have you taught your children to ‘honor your parents’Now here’s an important challenge… how do you honor parents who are not God honoring in their behavior or attitudes!? God does not call us to honor parents only if they are wise, honest, Godly etc. He calls us to honor them because they are our parents. We exist because of them. God used them to create us! Regardless of your current age, my friends, if your parents are still living, God calls you to seek from Him an understanding of how you can honor them and in so doing Honor God! What does that look like for you?
 
Notice Paul also writes “Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right…” So once again I ask us my friends, ‘how should we obey our parents when what they are teaching us or telling us to do is not right?’ Who do we obey in priority… God or parents? When what they are teaching us is in conflict, who do we obey, God or parents? Well, God of course, right?
 
God’s parenting standard is found in Deuteronomy 6:1-9, every Hebrew child memorized it early… “These are the commands, decrees and laws the LORD your God directed me to teach you to observe… so that you, your children, and their children after them, may fear the LORD your God as long as you live, by keeping all His decrees and commands… so that you may enjoy long life.”
 
Do you hear the three generations there my friends? God’s expectations of parenting is quite simple actually. TEACH and TRAIN our children to love, obey and honor God in all ways at all times. Then they are to do the same with their children. And because our children are parenting their children (our grandchildren) when we are still alive, we should be fully engaged in that, continuing our God honoring parenting with the next generation, teaching and training our grandchildren to love, obey and honor God in all ways at all times! And yes… even if you have the great privilege of great-grand children! God honoring parenting NEVER ends!!
 
Remember Hebrews 4:13 tells us that we will all stand accountable to God and His perfect, holy standards, for everything we do, because nothing goes unseen by His eyes. So God’s standard in parenting is this: parents are responsible to teach their children how to live God honoring lives, and children are responsible before God to learn from parents who are teaching them properly, and obey those God honoring parents. When either the parents or the children deviate from that, God will hold them accountable for turning aside from the Holiness He expects from them in life. So, when parents are teaching children to live in a manner which dishonors God, or is contrary to God’s standards, then children are expected to obey God, disobey their parents, but do so honorably, pointing their parents to God’s holy standard. 
 
Did you notice Deuteronomy 6:4-9? This is the cornerstone of God’s design for parenting… every generation, every culture in the world: “The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength. These commandments… are to be on your hearts…” This is the “Shema” to Jewish families. When this is true, when God’s Word, God’s commands are priority in your heart and you love the LORD your God with all you heart, soul, mind and strength… life will go well with you. And when your children join you in this, life will go well with your family! Dysfunction comes when anyone within the family deviates from this cornerstone!
 
“Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you rise up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door-frames of your houses and on your gates.” Don’t you love how practical God’s instructions are? How did your parents impress on you the value of loving God and living honorably for Him? Do you see WHEN God and His Word & His ways should permeate our family conversations? Can you apply them to your modern family? What do you talk about when you sit TOGETHER as parents and children /grandchildren, in your home? Turn off the electronics and TALK, about God and the adventure of knowing God and living a God honoring life adventure with Him! 
 
We don’t walk much along the road these days, so how about when you are driving in your automobile with your kids and grand-kids? What’s going on inside the car? How often are you talking about what you see outside, that God made, and the awesomeness of our Creator God, or the Love of God, or the Holiness of God or any of His other wonderful attributes? Car rides can be great parenting & grandparenting times! 
 
Or what about bed time at night… did you grow up with parents or grandparents tucking you in at night with talking about God and praying with you, so your last memories were comforting talk of God who was watching over you as you slept? And what about when you rise up… have you learned how wonderful awaken your kids or grand-kids by rubbing their backs and telling them God watched over them as they slept and it’s time to rise up and step into a new day with Jesus and see what adventures He has for us today? Or was it a loud alarm clock or the screaming call that you are late for work or school that awakened you and your children? 
 
And then what about this matter of what hangs on the door-frame of your home? You may know that for Jewish families, a small portion of God’s Word is tucked in a special, very small container and fixed onto their house door frame so as they enter or leave they stop, touch that scroll, offer a moment of prayer thanking God for His Word and asking for His blessing on their path that day. For you and me, what hangs on the walls of our home that tells the story of your journey with Jesus? Or are their Scripture verses on your walls? In every home the walls proclaim what’s important, what’s valued, what’s celebrated in that family. . . what did the walls say in your childhood home, or your home today? 
 
Well friends, I didn’t get very far into Ephesians 6 today, did I? But do you see at the end of verse 3 why what God is saying to us here in Ephes. 6 & Deuteronomy 6 are so important? “…that it may go well with you, and that you enjoy long life on the earth.” Is there anything you would cherish more than that? That it would go well with you and your family, and that you would enjoy long life on the earth! 
 
It’s parenting my friends… God honoring parenting. And that is COACHING! Doing whatever you can as parents and grandparents to coach your children and grandchildren to being the very best they can be, as they live their lives to honor God at all times, in all situations! And remember, our coaching of our family never ends… never, even after we’ve gone to heaven, we will still be coaching through what they remember we taught them and showed them by how we lived our lives for God’s glory!
 
 

Click to read today’s chapter: Ephesians 6. (At the top you can choose a different translation.)
 

Have a comment or question about today’s chapter? I’m ready to hear from youcontact me here.


Pastor Doug Anderson    262.441.8785  
Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, with our eyes fixed on Jesus…” (Heb. 12:1,2)

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