Good morning my “Walking with Jesus” friends,
Did you know divorce data, over the past several years, shows a dramatic spike in the month of January each year? A spike in what? In the number of married people filing for divorce! In fact, the single busiest day for divorce filing over the past several years, at least in America, has consistently been the FIRST Monday back to work after the Christmas/NY Holidays! Now think about that for a moment friends, what conclusions do you draw from that? Aren’t the Christmas/New Year holidays supposed to be among the happiest days in the calendar?
I can’t tell you what the divorce rate was in 55ad or so when the apostle Paul was writing his first great letter to the Christians in Corinth, Greece, but Paul devotes about 1/2 of his seventh chapter to this matter of building and protecting a healthy marriage. Let’s rejoin Paul as he dictates, and I assume Timothy is his scribe. 1 Corinthians 7:8 “Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”
Paul seems to be addressing those single adults who are unmarried for any reason. Widows were always a special group of people to the Jews and Christians, with God frequently urging the entire Jewish and Christian community to care for widows and not allow them to become destitute due to the death of their husband. Do you see Paul once again brings us back to his theme over the past few days, of ‘sexual immorality’? In this case Paul is urging single adults to pursue marriage, especially if they find their romantic passion drawing them to lust resulting in inappropriate words or physical touch.
Now why do you suppose Paul has been spending so much time on this issue of ‘sexual immorality’? I think it’s because few if any sins are more destructive to relationships and reputations than sexual immorality. Whether it’s adultery or pornography addiction or pedophilia or incest or any other form of sexual immorality, the destruction to a family and personal reputation can be swift and permanent.
Also, the damage done to the spiritual health of a person involved in ‘sexual immorality’ can be devastating. For this reason, I think it’s important for us to acknowledge there are three types of “adultery”, did you know that?
We understand ‘physical adultery’ is the phrase used to describe inappropriate physical touch and ultimately sexual activity, which should be expressed only in the holy covenant of marriage, but it is taking place between two persons who are not married to each other. If true, what would you call the EMOTIONAL inappropriate relationship between two people who are not married to each other? I call that “emotional adultery” and I suggest it is what Jesus was talking about when He said, “Anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matt. 5:28) That’s the basis of pornography, isn’t it? Sadly, it’s the underlying culture of way too much music and film entertainment in our day and it has become normal for many people to find themselves far too deeply emotionally engaged with each other, even when not married to each other.
Would you consider a third type of adultery is what I call “Spiritual Adultery”. Often in the Old Testament God sent prophets to His people accusing them of ‘spiritual adultery’ as they had left their pure worship of holy God and began worshiping and offering sacrifices to the idols of the surrounding nations. Jeremiah 2,3,10,11 are four chapters of God’s indictment against His spiritually adulterous people.
So, one type of spiritual adultery is actually idolatry, but may I caution you to consider another type of spiritual adultery is when two people who are not married to each other pursue a deep spiritual relationship with each other which should be reserved for their spouse. When this happens almost always emotional adultery follows, when they find themselves so emotionally fulfilled in each other they find themselves pulling away from their spouse.
And sadly, eventually physical adultery can take place, even with the added masquerade of people claiming God has given them permission or even instructed them to pursue physical intimacy with each other, even though not married to each other! I urge you to ponder this carefully my friends, because I believe all three of these types of ‘adultery’ were happening in Corinth! And that’s a big part of what was motivating Paul to write this section of his letter from 1 Cor. 6:12 through chapter 7.
Paul continues: “To the married people I give this command (not I but the Lord): a wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife…if any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his [believing] wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise, your children would be unclean, but as it is they are holy.” (1 Cor. 7:10-14) Now that is a very interesting paragraph isn’t it my friends? Do you find the language clear or confusing? The underlying, foundational declaration from God goes all the way back to Adam and Eve and God spoke it very clearly through His prophet Malachi: “I hate divorce’, says the Lord God of Israel… so guard yourself in your spirit and do not break faith [with your spouse]. (Malachi 2:10-16)
God’s design for marriage is clear, isn’t it? A lifelong covenant of love between one man and his wife, one woman, and both of them in a covenant relationship with God for the duration of their lives. This covenant of love is breakable by the death of either spouse, leaving the other a widow or widower. Released from their first covenant of love, due to the death of their spouse, they are free to pursue a love relationship with another person.
Perhaps you remember the Lord Jesus made this clear statement: “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.” (Matt. 5:31,32)
Now what do you understand Jesus is saying here my friends? Divorce is the breaking of a love covenant intended by God to last a lifetime. Do you see God saying this marriage love covenant is broken only two ways, the physical death of one of the marriage spouses OR the killing of the marriage as one spouse defiles the marriage through physical adultery by engaging in sexual immorality with someone other than their spouse.
And why would Jesus seem to say physical adultery kills the marriage covenant? Because the holy, sacred act of sexual intimacy is the means by which God has designed that two people become one flesh (Gen. 2:24) and the result of their sexual union can result in the conception of a new human being which is the sacred, miraculous, indivisible merging of those two adults and God, in creating human life! And that sacred human act is intended by God to be holy and protected from any defilement.
Now I think we need to pause right here, because I know God’s Word has spoken powerful truth today which many people in almost every society of the world have rejected. Rather than honoring God’s design for holy marriage, many people have created a false reality which actually embraces adultery and rejects any notion that marriage is a lifelong covenant of love with God!
So, let’s welcome the voices of African young people with a song, calling us to Behold our Great, Awesome, Holy God, our King, as we celebrate God’s guidelines for holy marriage, and I’ll see you back here tomorrow as we continue with Paul’s challenging letter of God’s truth…
Today’s Scripture is 1 Cor. 7:8-14.
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Pastor Doug Anderson
“Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, with our eyes fixed on Jesus…” (Heb. 12:1,2)
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